its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
