like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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