You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize