Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
