the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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