We're like a lot better than the average bears
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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