i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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