I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
