Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why are your pants in the freezer?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
