isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
