god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
