Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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