His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
