Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
