I think I died a long time ago.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
