Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
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