so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
