I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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