Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
