Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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