It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
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I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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