we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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