we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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