i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
