nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
