No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
