It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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