In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
