we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
