Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
