Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
