He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
