Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize