my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize