sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
