mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
