Me. At least after what I've been through.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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