cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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