I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
