Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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