The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
