the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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