I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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