peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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