Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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