Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
