Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
