The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Randomize
