i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
