I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
