talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
