i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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