so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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