Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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