i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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