from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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