I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
