i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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