no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My pussy is not your playground.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
