He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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