In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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