I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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