Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
