I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
